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Shameless Entry
 


 I seriously i wanna find a job!!

The sooner the better.

i'm sick and tired of all this shit going on at home.

why cant this home be a peace and quiet home.

all i need is peace and all, im 18 years of age.

and i had a personality of my own. and i believe that everybody in the world do.


*so is temper as well.

and this is the first and ever last time i'm going to voice up for myself in this house.

i finally got the courage to voice up saying: i am not a person you could always pick on when i was young and not someone that you could pick on when i am 18.


Please tell me, what should i do? 

i just want a place here and being notice at home.

if i have something on, who is going to listen to me?

who should i turn to.


as you might think who am i refer-ing to

i am refer-ing to my dad.

now i am here, not crying but typing what i feel about him and this family that i had go through.


i am a person with strong will and not traditional.

i am a kind and caring person that always go out to people asking weather they need my help.

when they smile and say thank you, im happy.

i am also a very shy and quiet guy cause i did not have a good family background.

my dad always kind of hit me and scold me.

to me, my house is a dangerous nest.

and it hurts my feeling to see people with good family that supports and cares for them.


and now, i finally know what my dad thinks of me.

he say i was useless in alot of things i do for example:

singing, studying and etc....


yes, i know somethings i do is not really successful now.

but wait, i will one day.

because one day i will return back to him saying that im not useless, but im a guy that works and plans for my future.

and he will de-finally be regret of what he say.


i did not say that much about him at home.

but now he say i tell everybody that "i am brave to scold my dad " or some sort like that. 

but hey, this start because of you...

those beating, those scolding, those insult, those bitching and those things you do.

which of this is really right.


I have friends, and im proud to say that " MY FRIENDS WERE ALL GOOD FRIENDS, THEY DONT CAUSE TROUBLE BUT CARES AND LOVE FOR ME.

I LOVE MY FRIENDS. THAT STOOD BY ME & SUPPORT ME IN ALL WAYS. GIVE ME THE COURAGE TO BE WHO AM I. "


But if i don't really care about my dad, why would i even bother to rub his back if he needs.

Follow him to Tao Payo to collect the aircon which in the end didnt.

Help him to carry stuff that he cant handle.

The best of all, Celebrate Father's day and his Brithday together and what i get now is more scolding and insult from him.


Maybe one day, if i run away from home. 

and maybe start my own life young, he might think back and say.

maybe what i say was wrong. 

then he might come to me saying that he is sorry and stuff.

but were too late.


everything is too late, even a simple sorry couldnt mend this heart of mine.

i think i better don't type too much on this because even how much i wrote or post out there in my blog.

no one can actually feels what i feel.


* i am here offcially say that i am not proud of this matter i post in this entry.

Im here to express of what i feel about things and stuff from my bottom of my heart.


im done!

no more entry post about this i promise.

soon this will be over  and i will get over with this.

give me a few more days, and i will be back posting another entry for you guys.

hopfully not a sad or bad one but something more 

"Independent"


wait for me guys.

if you got any comment or suggestion, you could tag on my tagboard.

let say, i dont have a dad anymore. :)

Smile


Keiji 

00:49 - comments(30)
I MOVED!!!
 http://keijiloves.jugem.jp
23:59 - comments(3)
Refresh!!
EMPTY!!

feeling strange why my blog is empty??
guess what??
Im starting a "NEW"

GoodBye Suckers :)

KeijiSuzuki
23:29 - comments(0)
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